No Vagina . . . Monologues for Karl. They're Sold Out.
Karl's Blog. Stardate Blah Blah Blah,
I was looking forward to watching "The Vagina Monologues", but, I did not get a ticket in time. I hope Jen and Sarah enjoy the final show tonight as I sit at home doing my laundry and preparing for tomorrow's soccer playoff game. In addition, I hope Erica breaks/broke a leg on all three nights.
Let's get back to business shall we?
Le Club Francais "Annual Wine & Cheese Gala"
Being my first and only year as an active member of this club, this was also my first time at this event. So I did not know of any of the background, prior baggage, or hoopla.
Going into that night everything seemed shady and dodgy. Will there be enough cheese? Food? Staff? Wine? The ridiculous house rules that go with hosting an event at the GSS Ballroom (minimum charge per drink $5, can't serve liquor till 6pm . . .). People arriving late or missing. The coat check area being too open and exposed. Hanging expensive paintings with only ribbon. The constant arguing over decorations and presentation. The list went on and on and I was ill at ease.
(Intermission: Crap. Canucks lost 2-1 to Sens)
So the doors finally open and people flood inside the ballroom. I guess the promise of free cheese and assorted snacks can sure reel in university students and campus affiliates like a mofo. It was a site to see. As an old teacher of mine (Brother Neuman) told me once, "They were like gulls I tells ya. Gulls!" It actually sounded funnier with his Newfie accent. Anyway, the public is inside. Cheese is disappearing. Still no wine till 6pm. Sure we had music and entertainment, but, in a mere matter of minutes, cheese supplies were low and there was no placating this crowd with booze until 6pm.
Despite my worries, the event seemed to turnout okay. Atleast from my end it was. I worked the Wine Ticket Table. Hence, I was about as popular as a drug dealer. If people weren't nice at my table, they may not be able to get their fix due to the strict GSS house rules. Plus it helped that Axelle proposed a "deal" selling 3 tickets for $10. Still pricey, but, most people were willing grin at me with contempt and bear it. I can't say the same for everyone screaming at the door people for refunds though.
An emergency cheese run later and everything seemed to run smoothly. That is until my 200-plus lbs and size 14 foot accidentally stepped on one of the grossly expensive glass platters. I'm a fat clumsy fucking moron!!! As much as everyone said it wasn't my fault, I still feel shitty. So yeah, fuck me.
DSBH Update
Oh . . . my . . . gawd. We won our first round playoff game last week against our foes, Lives United, by a score of 2-1. This is a first for the club in it's tenure over here in the Richmond Senior Soccer League. I'm sure it was different way back when in the UBC Rec League, but, back then I only played as an emergency back-up (oddly enough, it is much more playing time than this season since I am a mere equipment manager) when they could lure me out my Saddam-like hiding place trying to frantically study and finish assignments. However, this past game was quite an achievement. After reviewing the footage, it was by far our best game in regards of passing and communication. Plus there is nothing funnier than watching an Austrian celebrate after scoring his first goal of the season. The image still makes me laugh.
Aside from the joyous game, I was pretty pissed-off when I finally reached Minoru for the game. I usually carpool with Jon (friend and DSBH 2nd Goalkeeper). This is due to the fact that he lives down the street from me and it also ensures that he gets out of bed and comes to the goddamn game. On this day, he (Jon) is once again hungover as a sailor. This is normally not a problem. I would usually keep phoning his cell and if necessary I'd call his home so that his parents would wake his ass up. Dave (team GM) assured me he talked to Jon the previous night and that he should be fine, if not hungover as usual. Time ticks by and Jon ain't answering. I'm phoning Jon's parents. They're no help at all. They confiscated Jon's cell, kept insisting Jon's sick, and that he can't play. Usually, Dave and I would have been notified atleast. That way other preparations would have been made. I'm inquiring if Jon's actually sick sick or just hungover as usual. If the latter, then he has no excuse. So I'm arguing with them. I'm on the verge of marching down to his house, breaking in, and FORCING him to get out of his bed. I relent. I'm now making a huge trek across Vancouver and then into Richmond because I'm "sharing" MY van with my little brother.
My route:
- starting point is my house in south east Vancouver (around 11:30am)
- drive through Sunday traffic all the way to Yaletown to drop-off my bro's girlfriend at her work
- drop her off
- rush through Granville St. from Pacific Ave. all the way across Arthur Lang Bridge into Minoru (arrival around 1/4 past noon)
Mind you, the game started at noon. I also had all the equipment (goal net, corner flags, etc.) in my possession. To say I was angry was an understatement. My driving that day would have made my usual adventurous passengers with a death wish shit their pants. Add in my constant cursing and screaming at all other drivers and pedestrians.
I arrive. Dave is apologizing to me. All that's running though my head was "Grrr . . . Karl smash!" If I could, I would have turned green.
I arrived the sideline. Game is already in play. No net. No corner flags. Dom, Sam, and Newitt look at me. I mutter, "One word and I'll deck ya." They left me alone. I rush to put up the net. Everyone not playing helped out once they determined I wouldn't hurt them.
Dom and Marcel scored in the second half. Near the end of the game, Jon arrives. He was hungover, yet again.
I was calmed down at this point. Although, if the game had to be forfeited I would have definitely kicked someone's ass. Good thing we won.
So this week, we'll be playing the number 1 ranked team from division 1, The Islanders (we were ranked #6 in division 2). Live! Sunday! Sunday!! Sunday!!! It's DSBH (Die Skorbut Boser Hunds) vs. The Islanders in McNair @ noon.
Later That Night
It was Bri's girfriend's (Jo) B-Day. We had dinner at "Yew-First". It's restaurant a block away from "Malone's" by Kits Beach. This place was also managed by Jo's sister, so we were treated very well. While there there was a dinner special where 2 pasta dinners came with a free bottle of wine. All this for the low price of $29.99 (if anyone wants to go, just ask). So I partner up with Jon for this deal. Yes, that same Jon.
Jonny got soooooo liquored-up the previous evening (he was fine with the beer, but, it always goes downhill when tequila enters the party). Hence, Jonny needed to keep away from alcohol for the time being. So 1 complete bottle of merlot for good ol' Karl that night. First time I had a whole bottle of wine to myself. Mmmm . . . tasty . . . BURP!!!
Excuse me.
The evening continues. The pasta tasted great and the wine complimented the meal. I also spent a portion of the evening talking to this girl from Quebec (she was a friend of Margarite). I thought nothing of it, just pure conversation. Everyone else thought different. Am I that oblivious to this? They kept pointing out obvious clues and signs. Something about her speaking primarily to me and not to anyone else. Again, what do I know.
We then change venues for dessert. After a last minute change, we all meet at "True Confections" on Denman. I tried to converse with said Quebecois girl. Unfortunately, I arrived late due to situations out of my control and was then seated far away. Furthermore, I was stuck in a conversation pocket in the far end of the table away from her. Whatever, I just thought she was cool and friendly.
Since, Jo didn't have a b-day cake that evening, while at "True Confections" we lit the candles on our table and the whole restaurant joined in for a rendition of "Happy Birthday". She felt embarrassed, but, she sure was smiling. Bottomline, Jo had fun. She said it was her best birthday ever.
More Birthday Shenanigans (mine that is)
As I promised, details of my birthday welcoming me to the quarter of a century club.
I started my adventure by taking transit down to Tinseltown to catch the matinee for "The Corporation". I arrived there too early. I bought my tix and had time to kill, so I ate some lunch since I neglected to do so before arrival. Being Ash Wednesday and raised Catholic, I searched for some vegetarian dishes. It was pretty difficult for me. The selection seemed promising, but, not all too filling. So I opted for some Chinese food without meat. Not too terrible, I just wished I got something else.
Back to the film though. When I attend a matinee, I do so because of the cheaper price and more importantly, to avoid crowds. Unfortunately for me, someone thought it would be a good day to bring an elementary/middle school class on a field trip to see this film. Bloody hell. They were so irritating. They kept complaining about how long and boring it was. I swear if it were the 1970s, they would have been smacked. Punk kids. I say that a lot nowadays. Punk kids. It just rolls off the tongue. Punk kids. See? It's actually fun to say too. Punk kids.
Despite their insolence I enjoyed the movie. What can I say? I'm sucker for a documentary. Plus I got a kick identifying all the Lower Mainland and UBC locations.
I then walked to Granville to catch the premier of "The Passion" out of curiosity. But along the way, since I was in the neighbourhood, I visited my old family doctor to say hi. Dr. Albert Ho Yee across the old Eaton's in Pacific Centre. He attended my birth, been friends of my family since the 1970s, and last time I remember seeing him was some time in 1999 when I tore my MCL (over 10 years of football and I get my first injury because a stupid running back trips over my leg. Dumbass!!!). Everything was the same. The paint, paintings, magazines, and the nurse. She asked who I was. I informed her and she was shocked (she was friends and an ex-coworker of my mom). I apparently grew up. It was fun updating them about my life, my family, and talking about the changes in the neighbourhood (not so sketch no more).
I then arrived at the Capital 6 on time. "The Passion" was okay. It's a good film to show a religion, Christian, or even a history class. I could see why it can be perceived as being contraversial. It is all a matter of interpretation, whatever one gets from it, like most films. The brutality was the way it was because that's the way it was back then. If you don't like it, watch a goddamn Charleton Heston flick. He sure looks like a Jew from the Middle East don't he? Again, I digress. The film looks nice, but, as a film itself? Meh. There are better films out there. I would love to see clips used in of those A&E programs examining religion or the bible though. Of course, this type of stuff interests me so I'm biased. How about if Leonard Nimoy were hosting/narrating it? Sweet. I'm happy that Jesus didn't say "They will never take away our freedom!!!" in Aramaic.
Afterwards, I went into Golden Age. I perused for the latest and final issues for "Marvel 1602" by Neil Gaiman and for "JLA vs. The Avengers" to no avail. But I did see a ton of Brian Wood comics and the "30 Days of Darkness" TPB. And boy did I splurge.
Brian Wood is one of my favourite comic book writers. I first heard of him via the Onomonopeia Show on CiTR. They were talking about this indie comic he wrote called "Channel Zero". Written a few years ago, its themes of censorship seem ominous in today's climate. However, what caught my ear was the references to Vancouver. It's one of the locales on that comic. I then stumbled upon a copy of the trade and was hooked ever since. I recommend his stuff strongly.
As for what I bought that day, I bought "Couriers: Dirtbike Manifesto". It's about these NYC-based bike couriers & mercenaries who travel upstate for some vengeance for a fatal deal gone bad. Very violent. Me likey likey. Next I bought 4 issues of Brian Wood's latest project, "Demo". He wrote for Marvel for a year (NYX, Runaways, Exiles) and later swore he'd never write for mainstream ever again. This current project is his way dealing with his demons after writing for mutant titles. Each issue is a self-contained story that deals with origin stories.
"30 Days of Night". I've heard good stuff about this comic and that Sam Raimi will adapt it into a film. Imagine Barrow, Alaska. This town the northern most town in the U.S. of A. Every winter for a month there is forever darkness 24/7. Now imagine a group of vampires decide to take a little vacation there. Enjoy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's it for now. Gotta get ready for soccer playoffs in a few hours time. Next time I will elaborate on my last big family birthday party and my one lone favourite & memorable birthday dinner with my family.
Later Days.
End Transmission.
I was looking forward to watching "The Vagina Monologues", but, I did not get a ticket in time. I hope Jen and Sarah enjoy the final show tonight as I sit at home doing my laundry and preparing for tomorrow's soccer playoff game. In addition, I hope Erica breaks/broke a leg on all three nights.
Let's get back to business shall we?
Le Club Francais "Annual Wine & Cheese Gala"
Being my first and only year as an active member of this club, this was also my first time at this event. So I did not know of any of the background, prior baggage, or hoopla.
Going into that night everything seemed shady and dodgy. Will there be enough cheese? Food? Staff? Wine? The ridiculous house rules that go with hosting an event at the GSS Ballroom (minimum charge per drink $5, can't serve liquor till 6pm . . .). People arriving late or missing. The coat check area being too open and exposed. Hanging expensive paintings with only ribbon. The constant arguing over decorations and presentation. The list went on and on and I was ill at ease.
(Intermission: Crap. Canucks lost 2-1 to Sens)
So the doors finally open and people flood inside the ballroom. I guess the promise of free cheese and assorted snacks can sure reel in university students and campus affiliates like a mofo. It was a site to see. As an old teacher of mine (Brother Neuman) told me once, "They were like gulls I tells ya. Gulls!" It actually sounded funnier with his Newfie accent. Anyway, the public is inside. Cheese is disappearing. Still no wine till 6pm. Sure we had music and entertainment, but, in a mere matter of minutes, cheese supplies were low and there was no placating this crowd with booze until 6pm.
Despite my worries, the event seemed to turnout okay. Atleast from my end it was. I worked the Wine Ticket Table. Hence, I was about as popular as a drug dealer. If people weren't nice at my table, they may not be able to get their fix due to the strict GSS house rules. Plus it helped that Axelle proposed a "deal" selling 3 tickets for $10. Still pricey, but, most people were willing grin at me with contempt and bear it. I can't say the same for everyone screaming at the door people for refunds though.
An emergency cheese run later and everything seemed to run smoothly. That is until my 200-plus lbs and size 14 foot accidentally stepped on one of the grossly expensive glass platters. I'm a fat clumsy fucking moron!!! As much as everyone said it wasn't my fault, I still feel shitty. So yeah, fuck me.
DSBH Update
Oh . . . my . . . gawd. We won our first round playoff game last week against our foes, Lives United, by a score of 2-1. This is a first for the club in it's tenure over here in the Richmond Senior Soccer League. I'm sure it was different way back when in the UBC Rec League, but, back then I only played as an emergency back-up (oddly enough, it is much more playing time than this season since I am a mere equipment manager) when they could lure me out my Saddam-like hiding place trying to frantically study and finish assignments. However, this past game was quite an achievement. After reviewing the footage, it was by far our best game in regards of passing and communication. Plus there is nothing funnier than watching an Austrian celebrate after scoring his first goal of the season. The image still makes me laugh.
Aside from the joyous game, I was pretty pissed-off when I finally reached Minoru for the game. I usually carpool with Jon (friend and DSBH 2nd Goalkeeper). This is due to the fact that he lives down the street from me and it also ensures that he gets out of bed and comes to the goddamn game. On this day, he (Jon) is once again hungover as a sailor. This is normally not a problem. I would usually keep phoning his cell and if necessary I'd call his home so that his parents would wake his ass up. Dave (team GM) assured me he talked to Jon the previous night and that he should be fine, if not hungover as usual. Time ticks by and Jon ain't answering. I'm phoning Jon's parents. They're no help at all. They confiscated Jon's cell, kept insisting Jon's sick, and that he can't play. Usually, Dave and I would have been notified atleast. That way other preparations would have been made. I'm inquiring if Jon's actually sick sick or just hungover as usual. If the latter, then he has no excuse. So I'm arguing with them. I'm on the verge of marching down to his house, breaking in, and FORCING him to get out of his bed. I relent. I'm now making a huge trek across Vancouver and then into Richmond because I'm "sharing" MY van with my little brother.
My route:
- starting point is my house in south east Vancouver (around 11:30am)
- drive through Sunday traffic all the way to Yaletown to drop-off my bro's girlfriend at her work
- drop her off
- rush through Granville St. from Pacific Ave. all the way across Arthur Lang Bridge into Minoru (arrival around 1/4 past noon)
Mind you, the game started at noon. I also had all the equipment (goal net, corner flags, etc.) in my possession. To say I was angry was an understatement. My driving that day would have made my usual adventurous passengers with a death wish shit their pants. Add in my constant cursing and screaming at all other drivers and pedestrians.
I arrive. Dave is apologizing to me. All that's running though my head was "Grrr . . . Karl smash!" If I could, I would have turned green.
I arrived the sideline. Game is already in play. No net. No corner flags. Dom, Sam, and Newitt look at me. I mutter, "One word and I'll deck ya." They left me alone. I rush to put up the net. Everyone not playing helped out once they determined I wouldn't hurt them.
Dom and Marcel scored in the second half. Near the end of the game, Jon arrives. He was hungover, yet again.
I was calmed down at this point. Although, if the game had to be forfeited I would have definitely kicked someone's ass. Good thing we won.
So this week, we'll be playing the number 1 ranked team from division 1, The Islanders (we were ranked #6 in division 2). Live! Sunday! Sunday!! Sunday!!! It's DSBH (Die Skorbut Boser Hunds) vs. The Islanders in McNair @ noon.
Later That Night
It was Bri's girfriend's (Jo) B-Day. We had dinner at "Yew-First". It's restaurant a block away from "Malone's" by Kits Beach. This place was also managed by Jo's sister, so we were treated very well. While there there was a dinner special where 2 pasta dinners came with a free bottle of wine. All this for the low price of $29.99 (if anyone wants to go, just ask). So I partner up with Jon for this deal. Yes, that same Jon.
Jonny got soooooo liquored-up the previous evening (he was fine with the beer, but, it always goes downhill when tequila enters the party). Hence, Jonny needed to keep away from alcohol for the time being. So 1 complete bottle of merlot for good ol' Karl that night. First time I had a whole bottle of wine to myself. Mmmm . . . tasty . . . BURP!!!
Excuse me.
The evening continues. The pasta tasted great and the wine complimented the meal. I also spent a portion of the evening talking to this girl from Quebec (she was a friend of Margarite). I thought nothing of it, just pure conversation. Everyone else thought different. Am I that oblivious to this? They kept pointing out obvious clues and signs. Something about her speaking primarily to me and not to anyone else. Again, what do I know.
We then change venues for dessert. After a last minute change, we all meet at "True Confections" on Denman. I tried to converse with said Quebecois girl. Unfortunately, I arrived late due to situations out of my control and was then seated far away. Furthermore, I was stuck in a conversation pocket in the far end of the table away from her. Whatever, I just thought she was cool and friendly.
Since, Jo didn't have a b-day cake that evening, while at "True Confections" we lit the candles on our table and the whole restaurant joined in for a rendition of "Happy Birthday". She felt embarrassed, but, she sure was smiling. Bottomline, Jo had fun. She said it was her best birthday ever.
More Birthday Shenanigans (mine that is)
As I promised, details of my birthday welcoming me to the quarter of a century club.
I started my adventure by taking transit down to Tinseltown to catch the matinee for "The Corporation". I arrived there too early. I bought my tix and had time to kill, so I ate some lunch since I neglected to do so before arrival. Being Ash Wednesday and raised Catholic, I searched for some vegetarian dishes. It was pretty difficult for me. The selection seemed promising, but, not all too filling. So I opted for some Chinese food without meat. Not too terrible, I just wished I got something else.
Back to the film though. When I attend a matinee, I do so because of the cheaper price and more importantly, to avoid crowds. Unfortunately for me, someone thought it would be a good day to bring an elementary/middle school class on a field trip to see this film. Bloody hell. They were so irritating. They kept complaining about how long and boring it was. I swear if it were the 1970s, they would have been smacked. Punk kids. I say that a lot nowadays. Punk kids. It just rolls off the tongue. Punk kids. See? It's actually fun to say too. Punk kids.
Despite their insolence I enjoyed the movie. What can I say? I'm sucker for a documentary. Plus I got a kick identifying all the Lower Mainland and UBC locations.
I then walked to Granville to catch the premier of "The Passion" out of curiosity. But along the way, since I was in the neighbourhood, I visited my old family doctor to say hi. Dr. Albert Ho Yee across the old Eaton's in Pacific Centre. He attended my birth, been friends of my family since the 1970s, and last time I remember seeing him was some time in 1999 when I tore my MCL (over 10 years of football and I get my first injury because a stupid running back trips over my leg. Dumbass!!!). Everything was the same. The paint, paintings, magazines, and the nurse. She asked who I was. I informed her and she was shocked (she was friends and an ex-coworker of my mom). I apparently grew up. It was fun updating them about my life, my family, and talking about the changes in the neighbourhood (not so sketch no more).
I then arrived at the Capital 6 on time. "The Passion" was okay. It's a good film to show a religion, Christian, or even a history class. I could see why it can be perceived as being contraversial. It is all a matter of interpretation, whatever one gets from it, like most films. The brutality was the way it was because that's the way it was back then. If you don't like it, watch a goddamn Charleton Heston flick. He sure looks like a Jew from the Middle East don't he? Again, I digress. The film looks nice, but, as a film itself? Meh. There are better films out there. I would love to see clips used in of those A&E programs examining religion or the bible though. Of course, this type of stuff interests me so I'm biased. How about if Leonard Nimoy were hosting/narrating it? Sweet. I'm happy that Jesus didn't say "They will never take away our freedom!!!" in Aramaic.
Afterwards, I went into Golden Age. I perused for the latest and final issues for "Marvel 1602" by Neil Gaiman and for "JLA vs. The Avengers" to no avail. But I did see a ton of Brian Wood comics and the "30 Days of Darkness" TPB. And boy did I splurge.
Brian Wood is one of my favourite comic book writers. I first heard of him via the Onomonopeia Show on CiTR. They were talking about this indie comic he wrote called "Channel Zero". Written a few years ago, its themes of censorship seem ominous in today's climate. However, what caught my ear was the references to Vancouver. It's one of the locales on that comic. I then stumbled upon a copy of the trade and was hooked ever since. I recommend his stuff strongly.
As for what I bought that day, I bought "Couriers: Dirtbike Manifesto". It's about these NYC-based bike couriers & mercenaries who travel upstate for some vengeance for a fatal deal gone bad. Very violent. Me likey likey. Next I bought 4 issues of Brian Wood's latest project, "Demo". He wrote for Marvel for a year (NYX, Runaways, Exiles) and later swore he'd never write for mainstream ever again. This current project is his way dealing with his demons after writing for mutant titles. Each issue is a self-contained story that deals with origin stories.
"30 Days of Night". I've heard good stuff about this comic and that Sam Raimi will adapt it into a film. Imagine Barrow, Alaska. This town the northern most town in the U.S. of A. Every winter for a month there is forever darkness 24/7. Now imagine a group of vampires decide to take a little vacation there. Enjoy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's it for now. Gotta get ready for soccer playoffs in a few hours time. Next time I will elaborate on my last big family birthday party and my one lone favourite & memorable birthday dinner with my family.
Later Days.
End Transmission.
posted by Shockah Karl at 3:44 a.m.
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