"Hey! Look what I found outside! A bubba of beer . . ."

Karl's Blog. Stardate Blah Blah Blah,



This past weekend was the weekend of my highschool alumni basketball tournament. A 3 day affair, where I came out of retirement, strapped on my aircast, laced up my addidas, and resumed my seat on the bench. Sure I played a little, but, I spent the majority of the tournament watching from the sideline. I'm not complaining mind you. I'm just informing all of you loyal readers (okay, you Dave and the select few in the AUS) about what I did.



The reason I attend every year is to meet up with and hang out with all the alums. If playing basketball was an actual issue with me I would play basketball with Chew and his secret basketball posse or I'd register myself into the "Flip League" (Filipino Community Basketball League). Of course I'd rather shoot myself. As much as I like basketball, I don't enjoy playing the sport too much. While my heart may be there, my skills ain't. As I told Matty that weekend, "I make up for my lack in skills with my propensity for violence." So basically, I'm a grinder and I'll hurt someone if the situation calls for it. A habit that can be dangerous when all those Filipino gangsta wannabes from highschool are all grown-up and probably packin' some heat or a shiv.



But I digress. I enjoy the environment of the alumni tournament. There was literally decades worth of tradition present on that campus throughout those three days. Everyone there, some with there families, enjoying themselves. Sure it was a bit of a jock fest. As much of a jock that I was/am, any reference to comics or Britcoms and my weird guy status is cemented yet again. Woo hoo!!!



Also, when you mix grads from an all boy Catholic school and 6 kegs of beer, the level of craziness is immeasurable. Oh my. There were Valhalla-esque levels of alcohol consumption. The former assembly now dubbed "The Alumni Room" was like a banquet hall for beer. It was like the embodiment of "The Man Show". That is except for the lack of females. So it was just like highschool. Although, this time around we were allowed to drink. Beer. The answer to all your questions. Questions like, "Why does my body hate me this Sunday morning?" or "How come I behaved in such a manner lastnight?" or "Why did I leave my black hat with Ian Strand on Friday at the English Metal Night BZZR Garden?"



Oh yeah, the level of basketball was intense. That is to be expected when the tournament comprises of individuals who've competed in provincial championship tournaments at the junior varsity and varsity level in high school, collegiate level sports, and even some in the professional ranks (Asia and Europe). The only prize at stake was bragging rights until the following year. Which is a lot to these people. This has only increased exponentially with the addition of an award commemorating the champions. But of all the players in the tournament, I was impressed with the play of my teammates. To be more precise, the guys who haven't played competitive basketball since JV, which is also the year we won the provincial championships in a Cinderella run. Again, I digress. These guys (Clem, Tabby, Tsakumis, & Omar) played probably their best basketball in years. Clem was a solid high post. Tabby's heart brought us back from a deficit in the semi's to tie the game and force an overtime. Tsakumis was our undisputed starting point guard. Omar was best "Worm" out there. As for me, my play sucked as per usual. I got my rebounds. I totally missed my free throw shot. I was par. I didn't huff and puff as much as I did last year. That's a plus. But then again, I didn't play too much.



We lost in the semi-finals of the tournament. It was close mind you. Heck, Tabby forced an overtime. But we played poorly in overtime. Everyone kept forcing 3-point shots. Shots that weren't getting in all game. We should have kept driving to the hoop and forced them to foul us, but hey, what do I know. As a result, we drowned our sorrows in the 6 kegs of beer waiting for us.



Due to the structure of the tournament, my first game was Thursday evening. Since we won, our next game wasn't until 9am Saturday morning. With this day off from basketball hijincks I attended the ESS Metal themed BZZR Garden held in MASS. This also happened to be the last BZZR Garden to be held at MASS for the school year. To commemorate the occasion I adorned my old METALLICA shirt, my jeans, my now missing black one size fits all hat that I've owned since 1997, and let my hair down.



The evening started off on shaky ground when Kalen couldn't get the iMacs in the AUS office to play his PC burnt MP3 disc of metal tunes. Remembering my failure of a BZZR garden earlier in the year, I helped out in trying to alleviate this dilemma. After some feebled attempts at troubleshooting by me, I eventually an iMac that would play the disc. Yay Ulrich!!! Did anyone else see the irony in that? No? Nevermind.



So metal night was in full effect. I began the evening by double fisting Jack & Coke. Not a good omen. It was a nice small gathering. The attendance eventually increased with the end of the final UBC Improv show. But it was still a pretty low key evening. I guess it was a good thing there were VC grads there to aid in the depletion of the keg.



As the party ended and the MASS was more or less cleaned up, I departed for home. I also left my hat to the care of Ian Strand. Seriously, have any of you seen a black hat laying around the office? I hope my hat doesn't wind up the same way as my lighter. Again, last seen in the possession of Ian Strand. So if anyone sees my hat or Ian Strand adorning a black hat, please leave said hat in my inbox in the office.



So yeah, I attempted to take transit home. Instead of taking the #17 to Granville, the #9 to Commercial, and the #22 to 41st, I passed out in said downtown bound bus and politely asked to depart by the bus driver. Good thing for me my buddy Jon was downtown and I warned him I may venture there to get a ride (he lives down the street from me). So I'm drunk, half awake, and disoriented in downtown Vancouver. He was at Gyoza. I mistakenly walked in the opposite direction. Thank goodness we both had functional cell phones. I finally rendezvous with Jon. We headed back to Gyoza. We then go to the casino so he can get his gambling fix. Unable to stay awake, I found a chair to pass the eve . . . err . . . morning away. I finally got home around 4:45 am. I had a basketball game at 9am. I think I may have still been drunk at game time.



After the tournament, was the weekly ACF Poster Party, followed by the official beginning of "Summer Soccer". The poster party was enjoyable. I even drove to campus. I was initially teamed with Matt, Ian K., and Krista to poster Buchanan. However, Scott and Ida were in need of a vehicle to cover their area, and neither could drive. Hence, in a blockbuster trade, I went to the Ida-Scott Connection for future prospects. Now a wheelman for the nefarious duo of Scotty & "I"d, we embarked for the science buildings, Thunderbird rez, and whole Fairview Crescent area. We found a few places to put posters up, but, not a lot. We either could not get into buildings or needed permission to up a poster by the front office. That was bad. The opportunity to drive my van and shake my rustiness, good. Upon returning to ACF HQ, Ida and I made some poster thingy. A poster thingy that would not be used due to a change in plans.



Next was soccer. Not directly to soccer though. I had to drive all the way back home in East Van for my brother to use the van. Which made me an hour or so late. Yay for me. And after all that hassle I still had to wait for him to "get ready" and he then hit me up for gas money I'll never benefit from. If he's so sick of spending his dwindling money supply on maintaining the van, there is one simple answer: STOP DRIVING THE GODDAMN VAN. I'm not goin' to feel sorry for a guy who drives my van and makes my life more difficult in the process. All I know is that when I get a place of my own, he ain't allowed inside. He'll probably make a mess, eat all food, steal my underwear & socks, and never leave.



Anyway, I finally get to soccer. Too bad my 2 days of drinking were taking effect on my body. Lets just leave it at that. I then played horribly (sensing a pattern much?) at soccer. I'm grumpy, annoyed, bloated, and I was unable to cut loose because if I were mobile I'd be in trouble. Shots were getting in left and right. C-Nut called me "Chew" and I dropped my gloves and was ready to jump the fucker. I don't care. I was having a shitty day and I would have jumped him. I could already think of a few popular submission moves to test out on him. To give an example, one move is called "The Cattle Mutilation". I finally had to stop playing. So I crossed 49th to try to use the restrooms in the church. It was closed. The fucking church was closed on a fucking Sunday. The hell? So I come back dejected and really needing to go. The game gets called since my bodily functions were refusing to listen to me and Graham had to leave. That would have left 3-on-3. Yeah I know, low turnout, but, people have exams, papers, work, and hangovers.



If anyone's interested, it's a simple game of pick-up soccer that is open to anyone. It's fun, free, and you get to play soccer. The details are as follows:



It has begun. Summer soccer, that is.



Here are the details. They may change in the future, but for now, this is

what it is:



Date: Every Sunday

Time: 12 noon - 3pm (or whenever)

Location: Jameson Elementary (North side of W 49th Ave, between Cambie and

Oak)



As usual, it's an open invite, so anyone who wants to play is welcome.



Get that? Good.



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Anyway, it is time for me to get ready for the final AUS Council meeting of the year and the launch of "The Atlas" (the history journal from the students of UBC, for the UBC community & beyond, by the students of UBC). Hope to see everyone there. There will be food and refreshments (at the launch that is [History Lounge in 12th floor of BUTO @ 3pm]).



Later Days.



End Transmission.

Good lord. An actual post.

Karl's Blog. Stardate Blah Blah Blah,



A weeks have passed and I have yet to post a blog. I'd like to say that I was sorry, but, I'm not. I was just too busy and tired to report about my boring so-called life.



Last Week:



All of last week was kinda weird for me. I believe I drank almost every bloody day last week. Granted it was the week of St. Partick's Day, but, man did I consume a lot of alcohol. I believe Thursday was the only day I did not drink any alcoholic beverage. Although, I spent most of that day asleep.



As Saturday rolled around, it was time for my friend Brian's birthday party. Since he lived over in the Steveston/London school district, it was time for Karl to leave the ghetto of East Van and return to the land of his childhood. I arrived late because that was the only time I could get a ride over to party central.



Since I had eaten very little that day, I was worried that I needed to pick up some dinner en route to the party. However, I was informed that there was Filipino Spaghetti* on the premises.



*Note:

- Filipino Spaghetti is a bit different from regular spaghetti bolognese that most North Americans are used to.

First, the sauce and the pasta noodles are mixed together. Okay, that's pretty normal. But, this pasta concoction

is very greasy and due to the type of seasoning and perhaps the addition of sugar, it has a sweet taste.

Furthermore, another staple of this dish is the addition of hotdogs. Yes. Hotdogs. Whether it is minced, diced, or

just sliced into small portions, the addition of hotdogs is key. It just wouldn't be Filipino Spaghetti without it.



So when I heard that, I was like, "Oh yeah!!!"



So I arrived. I greeted my buds and congratulated the already intoxicated birthday boy. We hang out. We drink. We talk a bit. We drink some more. We wait for more arrivals. We drink again. Finally, we start playing our drinking games.



The first game was this card game where every card is assigned a certain task (eg. Restroom pass [in this game, which can take a while depending on the shuffle, going to the toilet can be vital], assigning who has to drink, mandatory drinks, reverse, etc). There's a community cup. Whenever someone draws a king, that person gets to fill the cup with whatever ungodly liquid that person wants. The game ends whenever the last king is drawn. That pitiful soul has to consume the contents of the community cup.



Next we played "Ping, Pang, Pong". The point here is that we go in a clockwise direction. The first person says "ping". The second person (whomever is on the immediate left of the person saying "ping") then says "pang". The third person (whomever is on the immediate left of the person saying "pang") then says "pong". However, as the third person pronounces "pong", that person has to point to another participant simultaneously. The participant that was pointed at then has to say "ping". And then the game continues as before. I you mess up in any way shape or form, you drink. The more you flub, the more you drink. The game ends when everyone has bowed out of the game except for one. So basically, this is an endurance game. Prior to this evening, the last 2 were Rich and I. We're both around 6ft. 2in. I also weigh over 200lbs, while Rich is an Italian-Aussie hybrid. So on a good night, we tend to still be functional while the others have varying degrees of problems. However, the just ended for some reason.



I'm not sure, but, I think my week's worth of drinking upped my tolerance of alcohol. By the end of the night/morning I was still nursing a beer or two.



Also, Brian made a birthday request to play soccer the following Sunday. Our team, DSBH, decided that we wanted to take a break from soccer after our 2nd round play-off loss to The Islanders. But, we nixed this plan as per Brian's request.



Sunday arrives. I bust my ass to MASS to get to the ACF Poster Party. I along with Team BUCH/Law/Brock (Matt, Natasha, & Da Payne) made mince meat of those buildings as we spread the good word of Arts County Fair. Afterwards, I rode along with Ryan and Liane in the Liane-mobile set up some billboards along the islands of the northern routes towards UBC.



Once ACF Poster Party duties were over I rode the 41 Joyce Stn. bus. Gerald was feeling a little nostalgic for his East Van roots and came along for the ride. I phoned my Dave to see how the game was going since I was late. He then informed me that there was no soccer game since everyone was way too hungover and due to the fact Brian could not move. Gerald did his shocked expression. Then we ventured into the depths of East Van.



I arrived home. As soon as the computer was free I spent the remainder of the evening making 3 cds for the ACF Booth.

1) ACF Monday Music

2) ACF Beach Booth Music: Classic Edition

3) ACF Beach Booth Music: Contemporary Edition



I only had an hour's worth of sleep.



This Week So Far:



Monday:



Got to school early. Adorned a Hawaiian shirt and some shades. Set up the ACF booth. Worked the booth. Went to AUS Council meeting. Voted and whatnot. Worked the ACF booth some more. Got flashed. Went to the final French Exec meeting. Got to eat cake.



Tuesday:



Talked to Canadian Springs. Went to my ACF Safety & General meetings. Got another "Sarah's Special Favour". Cool. Killed time in MASS with Naf before our "Graduating Student Leaders" event.



While at Cecil Green College for the event, we (Naf and I) helped ourselves to the desert buffet. There was a non-stop supply of cheesecake. So I was pleased.



There was a also a few brief remarks informing us about the future UBC Alumni events to look forward to. I asked Cat if I should stifle my laughter if they ask for money. She had a giggle.



Then it was time for the Murder Mystery game. Basically, a live action game of "Clue" where we were divided into teams. We were Team Purple (Arts represent!). We originally consisted of Naf, Karen, Kat, Pat, and I. We were then informed that Pat was assigned as one of the murder suspects. So we got a replacement. We gave a valiant effort, but, we lost to Kristin's team. This marks my second straight defeat to her (I lost via Big 2 the week prior). She's pretty much broken my will and I've never been the same.



After the event ended I went with Kristin and Cat to "Lou's" to meet up with Lana and friends to drink. I had to be different from the group and got a Heineken. Everyone else started with caesar.



Spencer, Graham, a brief sighting of Vanessa, and Jill showed up.



3 Heinekens later, it was off to some trendy martini place. I drank a mocha martini. The parted ways.



Took the bus home. My route consisted of taking the #17 to Granville. Then took the #9 to Commercial. Then it was my old friend the #22. Or as some may refer it to, "The Freak 22". This is due to the freaks and characters that tend to frequent this particular bus route. Needless to say, the #22 never fails to disappoint. There was a rather angry drunk woman on the bus. It looked like she may become violent. So the driver stopped at Kingsway and awaited for a supervisor to deal with her. Once she was off, we went our merry way. I got off at 41st Ave, walked home, and promptly passed out.



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Hmmm . . . passing out seems good right about now.



Later Days.



End Transmission.

Final Birthday Stories

Karl's Blog. Stardate Blah Blah Blah,



I'm gonna be focused this time around and just post about my last b-day stories. I've overindulged in my epic posts. So I'll try to be more concise.



Anyway the final 2 stories will revolve around my family and not my friends. My friends throw me birthday celebrations every now and then because they know I don't like parties that are for me. As for my family, while their hearts maybe in the right place, I usually resent them and hate myself more than I usually do. The first story will be about my last epic family birthday party for me. The latter story will be about the one birthday dinner with my family in that post period that seemed "special" and to this day remains a happy memory.



13



The age of thirteen is quite a transitional phase. One is nolonger a child. However, still not an adult. Merely caught in that awkward stage of teenhood. To celebrate my parents booked the Thompson Community Center in Richmond as the venue for that evenings festivities. Invited were the Barcada, family, and friends of the family. There was a lot of food and people strewn around this banquet. To get a visual image go watch "The Debut". It's quite similar, except without the dancing and singing. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. Everyone that was except for me. I spent most of the time not allowed to play with the other kids because I was forced to wear "good" clothes. So to pass the time I avoided people and listened to my handy walkman attempting to find the right frequency for Coast 1040. Back then the station was a Mecca for underground music.



Amidst this spectacle, I saw everything that I hated about birthday parties. Of all the people, the one person who should have a good time should be a celebrant. The celebrant should not have to feel like a trophy for one's parents to be placed upon display. In my case, a trophy that always felt was not up to snuff and a perpetual disappointment to his dad. A feeling that persists to this day.



After the party was over and everything was packed away I told my parents to never throw me a party ever again. If they want a special dinner, then fine. But, I NEVER wanted a grand epic scale birthday party ever again. They were happy to comply since it saved them a lot of money to do so. We made a mutual arrangement.



Sure there would be family dinners, but, I only had to make some face time and then locked myself in my room to study. Especially, since my birthday has now become an excuse for my father to invite "his" friends over to drink.



'50s Style Burger & Soda Joint



Sometime in highschool my family uprooted from Richmond to East Vancouver. During this time my mother would undergo a series of medical conditions. At first she endured kidney stones and then later on she contracted cancer. My routine would be to wait for my dad to pick me up after football/basketball practice and we would visit my mom in the cancer ward over at Vancouver General Hospital.



One of these days happened to be my birthday. After we (my father, brother, and I) left my mother's side, we decided to go to a restaurant near the hospital. The lot where it used to lay is now vacant, but, back then along Broadway and a few blocks east of Oak was 1950's style burger joint. It was like stepping into the diner from "Back To Future" and that door was the flux capacitor. Everything about the place was magical. They made my brother wear a dunce cap since he could not finish all of his milkshake. I even got a slice of cake while the staff sang Happy Birthday to me. The only thing that would have made that moment better was if my mother was present.



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So there, no more birthday recaps and what-not until next year.



Later Days.



End Transmission.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

Karl's Blog. Stardate Blah Blah Blah,



Another year has passed and I believe the counter at The Pit is at "0" once again.



Yesterday I prepared for this holiday by attending both my Safety and General ACF meetings. That marks my second time to ever do that. Basically, if the weather is gloomy and I don't get called in to Surrey, the more I get to participate in my ACF duties. I finally made the order for the water for ACF via the internet. The order should take 2 weeks to process and also give a week afterwards to handle any problems regarding this order.



At the General ACF meeting I received a "Special Sarah Favour" for supposed contribution to the ACF Booth. I'm not sure what I exactly did to garner a nomination, let alone the reception, of this prize, but, I guess I done good some how. For readers (?) who may not know what a "Special Sarah Favour" is, it currently comprises of a piece decorated by Sarah (perhaps other contributors as well) that represents her and her compatriots' gratitude for one's effort and so forth. She suggested that in the future these sheets of paper maybe transferable for actual favours. She also stated that in "favours" she meant "normal favours" and not "sexual favours". Although, that is being reconsidered until further notice. It was at that moment that Meg suggested that I practice giving shockers as a form of favour. That's when everyone at the meeting became shocked . . . no no no . . . I mean stunned . . . no no no . . . I mean surprised . . . oh nevermind.



Also, I found out that I will be on walkie talkie at ACF. Woo hoo!!!



I then embarked towards the Grad Lounge for a GCC meeting/vote thingy with Adam (AUS 4th Yr. Rep.). Hmmm . . . free food and beer? How could I say no? We arrive. I notice Guinness on tap. Let me get this straight, we had a free tab AND there was GUINNESS on tap. AWESOME!!! Amidst the endless pints (till 8pm that is), we played "Big 2" with "asshole" rules. The majority of the time it was between Dan (SUS), Kristin (SUS), Adam (AUS), and I (AUS). So basically, this drunken game of Big 2 served as an unofficial battle between the AUS and the SUS. For the majority of the night, Adam and I reigned as either the president or the vice president. That is until the final hand. On that final hand Kristen defeat both AUS Reps. Then she did a victory cheer and a pseudo dance at dethroning us Artsies.



As for St. Patrick's Day itself, my current itinerary is as follows:



11am - Grad Photos



3pm - French Exec Meeting



8pm - meet in MASS to do some promo work for ACF



Depending upon how long the code review meeting is, I may attend.



And now for something completely different.



I Fought the UBC Parking & I Won



A while back I received a parking ticket. One of the few times I drive to campus and I got a ticket! I drove to UBC nice and early. I was able to snag one of the ever dwindling B-Lot parking stalls. I bought a bloody $4 parking ticket. And after spending a long day on campus, when Kent dropped me off by my van, I found a bloody parking ticket on my wind shield. I was livid. I was cursing as I usually do when I am really perturbed. All I hear in the background is Kent goading me to protest and sue. I read the reason for the ticket and it states that the ticket was "upside down". I don't know if I've lived in East Van too long, but, I was like "n***a wha?" The connotations of "upside down" could mean 2 things. Either the ticket was in a direct 180 degree rotation from the norm of viewing readership or that the ticket was "face down". If it was the former, then that is just ridiculous. If it was the latter, then it should stipulate that it was"face down" since it would be more precise. However, if that were the case, how the fuck does the "Joe Campus Cowboy" even that said "face down" ticket is the appropriate ticket? Therefore numbnuts has to specify that no ticket was located. So basically, if I'm gonna have to pay or protest through the proper channels and then pay anyway, I want to be satisfied with the reason I have to pay.



I wait a little over a week. I am more calm. Serene if you will. Atleast enough to reconsider jumping over that teller desk. I arrive. I calmly ask for a definition of "upside down". Supposedly, according to their code database (the teller looked it up on her computer) it means that their view of the ticket was hindered in some way. She asked if I park at B-Lots regularly. I replied that I did not. I was about to frown and pay the fine when she informed me she can issue a warning. I'm ecstatic. I was even given one of those plastic pockets for parking tickets that stick to your windshield to prevent another mishap. Awesome. I don't have to shell cash and I got a gift. Simply awesome.



We Got A Rope. We Got A Tree. All We Need Is A Referee.



This past Sunday was the second round of the Richmond Senior Soccer League. My club, DSBH, faced off Division 1 powerhouse "The Islanders". The game was by far our best game of the season. We really took it to them. It was tied 0-0 until the last few minutes. At that point in the game the ref calls for a penalty shot due to an "inadvertent handball" in the goalie's crease. They score. 88 minutes passed in the game, running time. Hence, we should have 2 minutes to attempt to tie and even win the game. But, the ref ends the game right after the goal. 2 whole minutes. I filmed the game myself. I and several team members have timed it. The first half was roughly 45 minutes. Second half was only 43 minutes. We played the best game of our lives against the number one seed in the playoffs and we lost because the ref wanted to leave early. We could lodge a complaint, but, that does not stop the fact that our season is over. I'm a little upset. I'm a little angry. Either way I have to transfer the game footage to VHS so that GM Dave can scrutinize the footage, perhaps edit out some cursing due to us being upset, and then maybe file a complaint.



On an upside, I'm now available to attend ACF Postah Parties. There is nothing quite like experiencing another "Meg & Lianne's Excellent Adventure".



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I have to end this episode early since I have to get going. I have to attempt to look photogenic for my grad pics. Next time I will finally post my last 2 birthday stories I promise. Until then,



Later Days.



End Transmission.

No Vagina . . . Monologues for Karl. They're Sold Out.

Karl's Blog. Stardate Blah Blah Blah,



I was looking forward to watching "The Vagina Monologues", but, I did not get a ticket in time. I hope Jen and Sarah enjoy the final show tonight as I sit at home doing my laundry and preparing for tomorrow's soccer playoff game. In addition, I hope Erica breaks/broke a leg on all three nights.



Let's get back to business shall we?



Le Club Francais "Annual Wine & Cheese Gala"



Being my first and only year as an active member of this club, this was also my first time at this event. So I did not know of any of the background, prior baggage, or hoopla.



Going into that night everything seemed shady and dodgy. Will there be enough cheese? Food? Staff? Wine? The ridiculous house rules that go with hosting an event at the GSS Ballroom (minimum charge per drink $5, can't serve liquor till 6pm . . .). People arriving late or missing. The coat check area being too open and exposed. Hanging expensive paintings with only ribbon. The constant arguing over decorations and presentation. The list went on and on and I was ill at ease.



(Intermission: Crap. Canucks lost 2-1 to Sens)



So the doors finally open and people flood inside the ballroom. I guess the promise of free cheese and assorted snacks can sure reel in university students and campus affiliates like a mofo. It was a site to see. As an old teacher of mine (Brother Neuman) told me once, "They were like gulls I tells ya. Gulls!" It actually sounded funnier with his Newfie accent. Anyway, the public is inside. Cheese is disappearing. Still no wine till 6pm. Sure we had music and entertainment, but, in a mere matter of minutes, cheese supplies were low and there was no placating this crowd with booze until 6pm.



Despite my worries, the event seemed to turnout okay. Atleast from my end it was. I worked the Wine Ticket Table. Hence, I was about as popular as a drug dealer. If people weren't nice at my table, they may not be able to get their fix due to the strict GSS house rules. Plus it helped that Axelle proposed a "deal" selling 3 tickets for $10. Still pricey, but, most people were willing grin at me with contempt and bear it. I can't say the same for everyone screaming at the door people for refunds though.



An emergency cheese run later and everything seemed to run smoothly. That is until my 200-plus lbs and size 14 foot accidentally stepped on one of the grossly expensive glass platters. I'm a fat clumsy fucking moron!!! As much as everyone said it wasn't my fault, I still feel shitty. So yeah, fuck me.



DSBH Update



Oh . . . my . . . gawd. We won our first round playoff game last week against our foes, Lives United, by a score of 2-1. This is a first for the club in it's tenure over here in the Richmond Senior Soccer League. I'm sure it was different way back when in the UBC Rec League, but, back then I only played as an emergency back-up (oddly enough, it is much more playing time than this season since I am a mere equipment manager) when they could lure me out my Saddam-like hiding place trying to frantically study and finish assignments. However, this past game was quite an achievement. After reviewing the footage, it was by far our best game in regards of passing and communication. Plus there is nothing funnier than watching an Austrian celebrate after scoring his first goal of the season. The image still makes me laugh.



Aside from the joyous game, I was pretty pissed-off when I finally reached Minoru for the game. I usually carpool with Jon (friend and DSBH 2nd Goalkeeper). This is due to the fact that he lives down the street from me and it also ensures that he gets out of bed and comes to the goddamn game. On this day, he (Jon) is once again hungover as a sailor. This is normally not a problem. I would usually keep phoning his cell and if necessary I'd call his home so that his parents would wake his ass up. Dave (team GM) assured me he talked to Jon the previous night and that he should be fine, if not hungover as usual. Time ticks by and Jon ain't answering. I'm phoning Jon's parents. They're no help at all. They confiscated Jon's cell, kept insisting Jon's sick, and that he can't play. Usually, Dave and I would have been notified atleast. That way other preparations would have been made. I'm inquiring if Jon's actually sick sick or just hungover as usual. If the latter, then he has no excuse. So I'm arguing with them. I'm on the verge of marching down to his house, breaking in, and FORCING him to get out of his bed. I relent. I'm now making a huge trek across Vancouver and then into Richmond because I'm "sharing" MY van with my little brother.



My route:



- starting point is my house in south east Vancouver (around 11:30am)

- drive through Sunday traffic all the way to Yaletown to drop-off my bro's girlfriend at her work

- drop her off

- rush through Granville St. from Pacific Ave. all the way across Arthur Lang Bridge into Minoru (arrival around 1/4 past noon)



Mind you, the game started at noon. I also had all the equipment (goal net, corner flags, etc.) in my possession. To say I was angry was an understatement. My driving that day would have made my usual adventurous passengers with a death wish shit their pants. Add in my constant cursing and screaming at all other drivers and pedestrians.



I arrive. Dave is apologizing to me. All that's running though my head was "Grrr . . . Karl smash!" If I could, I would have turned green.



I arrived the sideline. Game is already in play. No net. No corner flags. Dom, Sam, and Newitt look at me. I mutter, "One word and I'll deck ya." They left me alone. I rush to put up the net. Everyone not playing helped out once they determined I wouldn't hurt them.



Dom and Marcel scored in the second half. Near the end of the game, Jon arrives. He was hungover, yet again.



I was calmed down at this point. Although, if the game had to be forfeited I would have definitely kicked someone's ass. Good thing we won.



So this week, we'll be playing the number 1 ranked team from division 1, The Islanders (we were ranked #6 in division 2). Live! Sunday! Sunday!! Sunday!!! It's DSBH (Die Skorbut Boser Hunds) vs. The Islanders in McNair @ noon.



Later That Night



It was Bri's girfriend's (Jo) B-Day. We had dinner at "Yew-First". It's restaurant a block away from "Malone's" by Kits Beach. This place was also managed by Jo's sister, so we were treated very well. While there there was a dinner special where 2 pasta dinners came with a free bottle of wine. All this for the low price of $29.99 (if anyone wants to go, just ask). So I partner up with Jon for this deal. Yes, that same Jon.



Jonny got soooooo liquored-up the previous evening (he was fine with the beer, but, it always goes downhill when tequila enters the party). Hence, Jonny needed to keep away from alcohol for the time being. So 1 complete bottle of merlot for good ol' Karl that night. First time I had a whole bottle of wine to myself. Mmmm . . . tasty . . . BURP!!!



Excuse me.



The evening continues. The pasta tasted great and the wine complimented the meal. I also spent a portion of the evening talking to this girl from Quebec (she was a friend of Margarite). I thought nothing of it, just pure conversation. Everyone else thought different. Am I that oblivious to this? They kept pointing out obvious clues and signs. Something about her speaking primarily to me and not to anyone else. Again, what do I know.



We then change venues for dessert. After a last minute change, we all meet at "True Confections" on Denman. I tried to converse with said Quebecois girl. Unfortunately, I arrived late due to situations out of my control and was then seated far away. Furthermore, I was stuck in a conversation pocket in the far end of the table away from her. Whatever, I just thought she was cool and friendly.



Since, Jo didn't have a b-day cake that evening, while at "True Confections" we lit the candles on our table and the whole restaurant joined in for a rendition of "Happy Birthday". She felt embarrassed, but, she sure was smiling. Bottomline, Jo had fun. She said it was her best birthday ever.



More Birthday Shenanigans (mine that is)



As I promised, details of my birthday welcoming me to the quarter of a century club.



I started my adventure by taking transit down to Tinseltown to catch the matinee for "The Corporation". I arrived there too early. I bought my tix and had time to kill, so I ate some lunch since I neglected to do so before arrival. Being Ash Wednesday and raised Catholic, I searched for some vegetarian dishes. It was pretty difficult for me. The selection seemed promising, but, not all too filling. So I opted for some Chinese food without meat. Not too terrible, I just wished I got something else.



Back to the film though. When I attend a matinee, I do so because of the cheaper price and more importantly, to avoid crowds. Unfortunately for me, someone thought it would be a good day to bring an elementary/middle school class on a field trip to see this film. Bloody hell. They were so irritating. They kept complaining about how long and boring it was. I swear if it were the 1970s, they would have been smacked. Punk kids. I say that a lot nowadays. Punk kids. It just rolls off the tongue. Punk kids. See? It's actually fun to say too. Punk kids.



Despite their insolence I enjoyed the movie. What can I say? I'm sucker for a documentary. Plus I got a kick identifying all the Lower Mainland and UBC locations.



I then walked to Granville to catch the premier of "The Passion" out of curiosity. But along the way, since I was in the neighbourhood, I visited my old family doctor to say hi. Dr. Albert Ho Yee across the old Eaton's in Pacific Centre. He attended my birth, been friends of my family since the 1970s, and last time I remember seeing him was some time in 1999 when I tore my MCL (over 10 years of football and I get my first injury because a stupid running back trips over my leg. Dumbass!!!). Everything was the same. The paint, paintings, magazines, and the nurse. She asked who I was. I informed her and she was shocked (she was friends and an ex-coworker of my mom). I apparently grew up. It was fun updating them about my life, my family, and talking about the changes in the neighbourhood (not so sketch no more).



I then arrived at the Capital 6 on time. "The Passion" was okay. It's a good film to show a religion, Christian, or even a history class. I could see why it can be perceived as being contraversial. It is all a matter of interpretation, whatever one gets from it, like most films. The brutality was the way it was because that's the way it was back then. If you don't like it, watch a goddamn Charleton Heston flick. He sure looks like a Jew from the Middle East don't he? Again, I digress. The film looks nice, but, as a film itself? Meh. There are better films out there. I would love to see clips used in of those A&E programs examining religion or the bible though. Of course, this type of stuff interests me so I'm biased. How about if Leonard Nimoy were hosting/narrating it? Sweet. I'm happy that Jesus didn't say "They will never take away our freedom!!!" in Aramaic.



Afterwards, I went into Golden Age. I perused for the latest and final issues for "Marvel 1602" by Neil Gaiman and for "JLA vs. The Avengers" to no avail. But I did see a ton of Brian Wood comics and the "30 Days of Darkness" TPB. And boy did I splurge.



Brian Wood is one of my favourite comic book writers. I first heard of him via the Onomonopeia Show on CiTR. They were talking about this indie comic he wrote called "Channel Zero". Written a few years ago, its themes of censorship seem ominous in today's climate. However, what caught my ear was the references to Vancouver. It's one of the locales on that comic. I then stumbled upon a copy of the trade and was hooked ever since. I recommend his stuff strongly.



As for what I bought that day, I bought "Couriers: Dirtbike Manifesto". It's about these NYC-based bike couriers & mercenaries who travel upstate for some vengeance for a fatal deal gone bad. Very violent. Me likey likey. Next I bought 4 issues of Brian Wood's latest project, "Demo". He wrote for Marvel for a year (NYX, Runaways, Exiles) and later swore he'd never write for mainstream ever again. This current project is his way dealing with his demons after writing for mutant titles. Each issue is a self-contained story that deals with origin stories.



"30 Days of Night". I've heard good stuff about this comic and that Sam Raimi will adapt it into a film. Imagine Barrow, Alaska. This town the northern most town in the U.S. of A. Every winter for a month there is forever darkness 24/7. Now imagine a group of vampires decide to take a little vacation there. Enjoy.



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That's it for now. Gotta get ready for soccer playoffs in a few hours time. Next time I will elaborate on my last big family birthday party and my one lone favourite & memorable birthday dinner with my family.



Later Days.



End Transmission.

In the mean time . . . a quiz.

Karl's Blog. Stardate Blah Blah Blah,



Everyone, or atleast almost everyone, is on a quiz rampage yet again to fill the void of content on their blogs. That being the case, I may as well follow suit since my access to the net is limited. Instead of following everyone else though, here's a test I love taking every now and then because my score continually improves (or degrades, depending on how you feel about geekiness). This is my latest score as of this posting:





Result: 47.53452% - Super Geek





How will you rank?





Geekish Tendencies

Geek

Total Geek

Major Geek

Super Geek

Extreme Geek

Geek God

Dysfunctional Geek



Ladies & Gentlemen or what have you, I introduce The Geek Test.



Later Days.



End Transmission.

B-Day Blog From Last Week

Karl's Blog. Stardate Blah Blah Blah,



So last Wednesday was my birthday. I had a nice day to myself. I pretty much prefer this since I tend not to enjoy birthday celebrations in my honour. There have been a few times, but, those are few and far between. Amongst these great experiences are the following:



19th B-day:



This is quite memorial for a myriad of reasons. I think alot of it results from the fact my dad was in the Philippines and therefore I had the house to myself. The actual celebration occured a month after my birthday, but, it was fun nonetheless. Of course whenever you have massive amounts of alcohol, drugs, and young people there is bound to be some nonesense.



So on this event went. I got royally trashed as they would say. Friends were trying to make houshold items into bongs, one brought a "brick", and I puked projectile vomit in the vein of the "Food Critic" in "Something Completely Different". All while "Blackadder Comes Fourth" played on the tube. All was good.



Surprise B-Day:



My friends decided to hold one for me and I fell for it hook line and sinker. This was the first time I actually experienced this first hand. It was awesome. Especially since I don't like celebrating my birthday.



Dave made some lame excuse about me having to help him grab a chair from his work at Water Street Cafe. I go upstairs to help and was met with a "Surprise!!!"



I was surprised to be honest. Jay McKinley had his doubts, but, that is mainly due to my inability to emote. I'm a horrible actor.



So we had dinner and booze. It was great.



In the end Georgio the manager offered me "a man's drink". I accepted. This turned out to be a glass of grappa. I downed the jet fuel pretty quick. The big ol' Italian seemed impressed. He offered me another. I again accepted. Same result. He's liked me ever since. As my friends would say, "Good times." :D



Dass' Uncle's Place:



This one time we celebrated my b-day at the subtitle above. The reason for this was because Dass was house-sitting for his uncle while he was away. His uncle also happened to be gay and possessed a huge collection of hardcore gay porn videos. To put things in perpespective, one cover aptly called "Fisting" and had a Dave Babytch look-a-like dressed in bondage gear, a PVC glove up to his elbow, and some dogs in the background.



Whenever my friends drink we have these pseudo summer camp rules. Basically, if you are the first to pass-out you are in a shit load of trouble.



The victim for this and almost every other outing was Lensky. It does not help matters when he acts like an ass when he drinks. Therefore, he pretty much asks for the torment we put him through.



In our possession were a shitload of hardcore gay porn, a polaroid camera (Hey yaaaaaa . . .), and a passed-out Lensky. So we decided to make a compromising photo. We paraded the vid covers around his head and were about to take a picture. Hold on! We decided to make the photo even worse. First we experimented both liquid soap and hand lotion to which looked more "life-like". We decide on the former and trickled the substance down the side of his mouth. Then click!!!



We made two copies. One for ourselves to display upon provocation. The other we left in his inside jacket pocket for a surprise.



This Year:



This time around I decided to watch 2 films and bought some comics. I will elaborate upon this next time.



Later Days.



End Transmission.

When Kent Comes A Callin' . . .

Karl's Blog. Stardate Blah Blah Blah,



Kent calls me out of nowhere and asks what I'm up to? I reply that I was heading to the AUS Council meeting and that I had to attend the French Club Exec meeting. Since he was getting off work early and I always have time to kill after the AUS meeting, we decided to catch-up. And since I was with Kent, that meant I had to consume copious amounts of alcohol or he'd beat me up or something.



So the plan was set into motion. Kent drove down to pick me up by Gage. Before we embarked for Malone's, we stopped by the AUS Office to see if anyone else wanted to come along. The only one able to make it out to "Kent & Karl's Crazy Drunk Adventure" was the benelovent AUS Prez himself, Chris Payne. Apparently, nothing settles one's nerves prior to a meeting with the RCMP like a couple of brews. So there we are chatting it up, splitting 2 pitchers, and munching on food (Kent and I had the wings while Chris had the quesadillas). It was fun despite the fact an open kitchen now resides where the old bench used to be. The RCMP meeting loomed so we headed back to campus.



The Prez went to see the Mounties. Kent and I headed to Koerner's Pub. We had pitcher. However, due to lack of people inside we decided to check out the Gallery.



Kent tried to get more people to come out to hang at the Gallery, but, apparently students have these things called "classes" and "assignments". Go figure. So at first it was just me and Kent. Kent decided it was time for double rum and cokes. After a while Emily came by and joined us for a few drinks. After a few more moments, Spencer walked in. He saw us, we saw him. Spencer joined in on some alcoholic amusement.



We were about to leave and lo and behold, Jayme finally arrives from work. Due to this surprise, the drinking continued.



Drinking with Kent is usually fun. It is like alcohol is synonymous with "Kent".



----------------------------------------------------------



Shaw Sucks Again cont'd:



DSBH Karaoke Night:



What else did I do? Whenever I do karaoke with Dave, we do a duo performance. Past joint performances include "Miss Jackson" by Outkast, "Play That Funky Music" by K.C. & The Sunshine Band, "It's The End of The World" by REM, etc. I was looking forward to doing some NKOTB, however, there was only one NKOTB track and I had no clue what it was. So Dave and I pondered, "What to do . . . what to do . . . " And on and on this went. I can't remember who chose the song (it may hav been me), but, Dave decided that he sing and I do interpretive dance. The song we performed was "Superman" by Five For Fighting. I eventually cut loose and started doing Jack Black and ran around the room flapping my arms.



At the end of the evening the judges (Dave's girlfriend and her best friend Colleen) handed out awards. By some miracle I won best stage performance. The prize consisted of a fancy looking card and a tiny bottle of vodka. To say the least I was thrilled.



Also, nothing prepares a soccer team like drinking and karaoke singing the night before the final regular season game.



Bro. Ron Memorial:



After performing B & E at the cemetary in Delta, we went for steaks at the Keg in New West. Dave and I opted for the BBQ Rib Steak while Chew pussied out and got a regular prime rib. Pussy. I ate all you can eat sushi too after the soccer game and still had a proper steak for Bro. Ron. Heh.



Anyway, damn that steak was tasty. I ate just about every piece of flesh on that bone along with everything else on that plate. When the waitress came back to collect our plates she congratulated me with a "Good job!" I felt pretty good. My friends would define it as some sort of food stoned. And boy was I food stoned.



Another thing we were doing at the Keg that Dave didn't realize until today as being the most geekiest thing he's done in a while. We were all dream casting actors/actresses in comic book roles. I'm pretty much used to doing stuff like this, but, Dave was kinda taken aback. This is the same person who has analyzed the scene from "Wrath of Khan" where Kirk screams, "Khannnnnnnnnn . . . !" to get every facial tick and mouth quiver.



All in all the evening was good. Although, Chew choosing a regular prime rib was bit of a let down.



-------------------------------------------------------------



Today



Worked at the farm yet again. I believe almost all of the mesh work is done. We only have to do some touching up and build a room for the generator. After that who knows? But freedom is looming near. Whoo hoo!!!



Dave and I decided to have A&W for breakfast. We got ourselves the steak burger which was only available for a limited time only. Slab of beef? Good! BBQ Sauce? Good!! The addition of bacon to this unhealthy and unholy concoction? Awesome!!!



--------------------------------------------------------------



Apparently it is Karaoke Night at the Gallery. I'm gonna check it out.



Later Days.



End Transmission.

Shaw Sucks Yet Again

Karl's Blog. Stardate Blah Blah Blah,



Since my internet at home has been nonexistent, I have been more or less cut off from my online blog community. For that I deeply apologise. Nothing exciting has happened as of late. That is except for the following:



DSBH Karaoke Night:



This past Saturday, my soccer club held a karaoke night at the DSBH Club House (the capitain's home). There was many a performance. I myself performed and operated the "B" Cam documenting the event. My solo performances were few, but, I had fun belting out Johnny Cash's "Boy Named Sue" and the Dwight Yoakam rendition of "Crazy Little Thing Called Love". I also sang "Whatever" by Godsmack, but, that was less stellar.



Bro. Ron Memorial:



Lastnight my friends and I commemorated the death of our fallen friend/teacher. You can read up on him on one of my previous posts. For the occasion we visited his grave, adorned hawaiian shirts, and consumed slabs of charred beef.



We got to his gravesite kinda late and the cemetary was closed. So we hopped the fence to visit him. For an Edmundian monk, he would have been proud. We had a moment of silence and gave him a lit cigarette.



---------------------------------------------------



I'll post more later. I must get more drunk with Kent at Koerner's apparently.



Later Days.



End Transmission.