Thursday, September 23, 2004

A Quiz From "THE Sub-Cultural Icon" (not me, Alex Lucard)

Karl's Blog. Stardate Blah Blah Blah,



Hopefully this will work here. My usual place for quiz tomfoolery is going all wonky on me. If it works, enjoy. If not, well this will be retconned so fast only a select few would know.



Your Ultimate Kitchen Stadium Battle by alexlucard
Username
The Challengerfumerdan
The Iron Chefmonkeysongs
The Chairmanjeneileen
The Commentatortrevortrevor
The TV Star Judgeneildiamond
The Politician Judgedavetallguy
The Sports Star Judgeblooroze
The Psychic Judgechuckyx
Theme Ingredientcod
The Winner:Iron Chef 4-0
Notable MomentThe Undead rise and devour the living before a verdict can be obtained.
Quiz created with MemeGen!




Later Days.



End Transmission.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

Tegan and Sara @ Dicks On Dicks (Sept. 16, 2004)

Test Pattern, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 . . .



For those not in the know, Tegan & Sara performed last Thursday evening at Richards On Richards. To say that their concert was good would be a vast understatement. Although, for a far superior assessment of the concert go read Quinn. He also interviewed the twins as well, which makes me jealous . . . so jealous.



However, since there seems to be someone reading this here rag I shall continue. The concert, like my last encounter with T&S, was memorable for me. An adventure to be had for sure. Held within the confines of "Dicks On Dicks" Tegan and Sara would mark their return to their home base (except for Sara since she moved to Montreal). With The No No Spots in tow, they rawked the joint.



The No No Spots were a 5-piece band consisting of a drummer, guitarist, bassist, keyboardist/secondary vocalist, and lead vocalist. Their set seemed short, however, with that limited slot they marched forward in Ramones-type fashion RIP. Full tilt and seamlessly transitioning from one song to the next. I guess I could categorize them under the indie band label, but, I feel that that would be far too limiting. I saw them as akin to a hard-edged New Wave band that would survive in front of a punk crowd. Like say a Pointed Sticks. So like any good opening act, they primed the crowd for the headliners, while at the same time garnering a few new fans. I being one of them.



After an intermission to prep the stage and another pint for me Tegan and Sara were up. Much like before, their performance was remarkable. However, they had an added element. That being the addition of a keyboardist/guitarist. Prior to the concert I dwelled upon what they would do for these keyboard pieces for their new material. This was because of news that one Matt Sharp recorded keyboards for the new T&S album, using his once missing Moog. My opinion regarding this new member to the band is overwhelmingly positive. Not only does he fill that needed element for the songs on the new album, but, he fleshes out the older material. This is done twofold: 1) the keyboards add a New Wave esthetic; 2) the extra guitar (yep that's right, a third guitar) makes the band sound louder. A sound that would be beneficial for larger venues or festivals.



While older fans of Tegan and Sara may fret that their beloved duo is veering away from their early folk leanings. This "new" progression of their sound is actually coming full circle when one recognizes their punk origins in Calgary. Both genres are not mutually exclusive. Even so, Tegan and Sara still make time in their set to show their fans why they've earned their love: the majesty of their dual harmonies and guitars, alone with no backing by their bandmates. A sight so special that even their fellow bandmates, from offstage, become audience members themselves.



However, a T&S concert would be incomplete without fan interaction. The banter between the twins themselves, as well as the audience, created an intimate atmosphere. At one of their gigs fans are more than mere spectators to an event. They are allowed to partake. While the banter between the sisters can seem catty at times, it is all strewn with humour. A type of quip that can only be tolerated by one you care about. Or truly despise at the time. I mean c'mon, their siblings, twin siblings at that. A certain level of antagonism will always be there. If this were the Davies twins there would be fisticuffs. So for the time being cooler heads win out, as demonstrated when Sara admitted to the crowd on their encore that she had to give Tegan a hug and apologize. An act that only endeared their fans towards them even more.



If I were to have a complaint about this concert, that would be in the lack of dancing in the crowd. Definitely in need of more people dancing. Yet, I can only think that this may be due to it being oh so close to the release of the new album, and to it being early in their tour. Hopefully, this will be corrected at their all-ages gig at Mesa Luna or when they return at the end of their tour.



Apart from the concert itself, Tegan and Sara concerts equate me hanging out with my good buddy Renata and the T&S fan posse. I was even surprised to see Mel in attendance (being that she works in California as a nurse; if that doesn't show one's allegiance to the band, I don't know what does). Whenever I see them, it just means to me that I really have to hang out with them more.



Other's in attendance that I spotted were UBC's own Quinn and Kaitlin. They were by the merch booth at the end of the concert. I would've said hi but it was really crowded at the time. That plus I was guarding the autographed setlist my friends got. Hopefully, Kaitlin will post an entry regarding the concert as well. I feel she, like Quinn, would provide a far superior assessment.



There was even a celebrity sighting. A one Kelly Osbourne was present. She was hanging out with Tegan and Sara at the merch booth. I didn't even know she liked, let alone knew them. So ummm . . . cool. For the record, the camera does her no justice. She seemed like any normal young girl. Heck, I initially thought she was just a really young friend of either Tegan and Sara or The No No Spots that had a passing resemblance to Kelly Osbourne.



Any weird adventures Karl? Well now that you mention it, not really. Although, I wound up giving a perfect stranger a ride to the place she was crashing. The story was as follows:



She was an RA at UVic and a big T&S fan. She could not get off work to see their gig in Victoria, so she decided to see them in Vancouver and crash at her friend's place. However, her friends are not T&S fans. So they arrive at Richards on Richards, but, her friends decide to leave early. She stays and enjoys the show. After the show, I'm outside hanging out with Renata, Francine, and their friends. Stranded person comes to our group and asks if anyone was heading her way and wanted to split a cab. Since I drove I offered to drive. My friend Renata then vouched for my character. And then I drove her to her destination. No funny stuff. Just me being a good Samaritan I guess. Plus she was a fellow T&S fan in need.



So go see Tegan and Sara live. In lieu of that listen to their albums. Just experience them.



End Scene.

Friday, September 10, 2004

Previously on The Karl Network

Karl's Blog. Stardate Blah Blah Blah,



It has come to my attention that I do not post enough. Well at least that there has been a long absence since my previous post and people (ok, Gerald) is wondering what I, The Shocker or just Karl, have been up to. So what have I been up to?



Well first off, this here blog is not abandoned. It is merely neglected. I feed the damn thing and I make sure everything is fine, but, I sorely deny showing it the love and attention it wants. It'll grow up and cry about it to a shrink. I'll end up calling it a pussy for doing so as I look at it in disapproval in a Red Foreman sort of way.



I've seen a few films. Both in theaters and on DVD format. Some were good. A few were great. Some were bad. One was bad on a whole new level.



I was a part of a film team that entered a film into the 48 Hour Film Fest. We were one of 79 teams participating in this event. It was disheartening to see our film not make the top 11 at the Gala Screenings. Especially since I felt our contribution was better than a good number of chosen top films. Whatever. What can ya do? It'll be better next time around. But I still that song Bill made is kickass.



Helped Mel & Kat move some stuff to their new abode in my neck of the woods. That's right, East Van baby. I already introduced Mel to a little place called "Wally's Burgers". Now we're just biding our time until we can all experience "Fo Bitch Ni##a" . . . err . . . "Pho Bich Nga".



Aided Jen in purchasing items at Ikea that are on her important list. Helped her in not straying from said list. Transported these Swedish-named items from Sweden Way to her house of fun. Did not assemble them. It is apparently Ryan's manly job to perform. Made Jen watch the short film I helped make for the 48 Hour Film Festival. So ask her how she truly feels about the film. (I'm so sorry Jen)



Bade Steve adieu. Yes, he is gone. He has gone off to Kelowna to help recruit students in that region to become future UBCers over at UBC Okanagan. The school has opened a new franchise and they have sent its greatest prophet to allure and entice them's people there.



Mel wanted more drunkenness that evening. So we (being me, Mel, Kat, Kristine, and Mel's buddy from London, Ontario) headed to my old stomping grounds. Gastown. Some things never change, so we did the route. We initially intended to go drink in the Cambie. The line was long as per usual. Hence, an alternative venue was sought. First, we went to the Lamplighter. It was ok. It was dead-ish. No live band playing. One question: When the hell did they install a flat screen tv? If this were the old days, it would have been stolen. Next we went to the Bourbon. Haven't been there since Jo Krack's birthday thing with the gluten and Beer Jesus. Anyway, it was crowded, loud, and a gong show. Again, as per usual for that night. It then closed early. Again. Then it was time for the Cambie. Still lively as before, but, without the line-up problem. Three words: Three liter pitcher. Another three words: Oh my gawd!



Trimblepalooza. It absolutely RAWKED my pants off. Not just figuratively. Literally. Serves me right for starting the evening with a bottle of Le Fin Du Mond. There was a private school theme in effect. So there were females dressed in schoolgirl outfits. A guy in a schoolgirl outfit. And guys in private school attire. In the spirit of the party, I adorned my high school band sweater (a cardigan to be exact) along with my costume. I was happy about: 1) learning that tallboys of Strongbow are sold at 4th & Alma (thanks Chris); 2) Gavin identified that I used a windsor knot; 3) that no one drew on me while I was passed out; 4) and most importantly that Spencer and his fellow cohorts threw such an awesome party.



I would have gone to Spark That Screams' CD release gig at The Media Club the following night. I wanted to. My mind said yes. My body screamed no after 2 consecutive evenings of drinking. I guess this is what separates me from the true fan I guess.



Got called in to the warehouse this morning. A bit of a rude awakening for me since I had soccer practice the previous evening, and I'm usually given notice the day before. I arrive before 11am. Waited a long ass time for the loading truck to arrive. It was late. It arrived at around 4pm. I did not get home till like 9pm. Whilst there, I tried driving the forklift. I nearly took out a wall. Good thing that aluminium ladder absorbed most of the impact.



When I returned home, I then went straight away to Kat's to help her retrieve her cats from Abbotsford. Note to self: Must fix talepipe and have engine checked. I mean who needs a garage to commit suicide when I can breathe in those noxious fumes during a road trip. This reminds me, I’m so sorry Kat.



And now dawn approaches and I need to sleep. I really need to sleep. So I hope you're all doing well. For those in school, good luck and enjoy Firstweek. For those not in school, enjoy yourselves, you deserve it. Hopefully, I'll wake up in time for the Spark That Screams set. Barring availability of tickets that is. Otherwise, hopefully I'll one of you at Tegan & Sara @ Dicks On Dicks.



Later Days.



End Transmission.

It's Gigli. Rhymes with really. As in really really bad.

Test Pattern, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 . . .



Hello all. And when I say "all" I mean fellow poster Karen, and Jon if he ever decides to post to this here blog thing. So eons have passed and out of all the great myriad of films that I have watched in theaters and in DVD format between now and my previous post, what beckons me to convey me reflections is this sole film. A film that has been the scorn to many a film enthusiast from the moment that it was unleashed to the world. Starring Jen. Starring Ben. One word. Two syllables. And no, it is not pronounced "gig-gah-lee" nor "gig-lee".



Gigli



Now how did this adventure of mine begin? Well, it goes a little something like this . . .



It was a dark dark night. A Wednesday night to be exact. My buddy Jon and I were at soccer practice as per usual. He asks me what I was up to. I respond, nothing as per usual. He then inquires whether or not I want to go rent a movie after practice since his cousin's flight from New York will be arriving around 2am and he had time to kill. I go, "Sure." It also helped that I was in possession of a video rental membership card and some coupons for free 7 day rentals. The stage is set.



After practice we embark for the video rental joint near our homes. Along the way we deliberate about what we should watch. Moments pass and we finally settle on "Pornstar: The Legend of Ron Jeremy". Neither of us seen it, and we both thought it would be fuckin' hilarious.



We arrive. There's a good hour left before closing. So we scour the place searching for this documentary of the one and only "Human Hedgehog". But alas out search ran dry. Then out of the blue, Jon grabbed a DVD case, holds it up high for me and all to see. My eyes bulge and my skin turns pale. "How about this?" he says. I'm in total disbelief. But c'mon, it can't be THAT BAD. It's not possible. So with our mutual glints of insanity we agree to rent this flick.



CUT TO: JON'S HOUSE



Boom! We load the machine and watch, watch, watch.



Throughout the course of the next 121 minutes our brains hurt as the prevailing thought in our heads is: "WHAT THE FUCK!!!"



There are bad. There are really bad films. I should know, I've quite a number of them out of sheer curiosity. But this film, oh my god, it creates an entirely new level of how bad a film can truly be. Everything about the film is just bad. Be it the writing, the acting, the score, it don't matter it was bad. Fuck it, I'll even say the lighting was bad just to be an asshole. This film pained me so.



You're probably asking, "But Karl, Gigli cannot be possibly that bad." But I shit you not. Be afraid. Very afraid.



The horrors I had to endure: (warning, spoilers below!!!)



- I can understand the use of Italian American accents, but, Noo Yawk accents (bad ones at that, and J.Lo's from there for fucks sake) in L.A.?



- A supposed "retard" who by the end of the film is "not so much a retard" as opposed to a spaz.



- The music. Good lord the music. It's like stock music for scenes trying to entice the audience to pay attention because it's supposedly Oscar-worthy or important somehow. Is it used as a serious gesture? Is it supposed to be a joke? I honestly cannot tell with this film.



- Two bumbling Mafioso types. I don't know about you, but, in any other film dealing with the Mafia, or whatever it was supposed to be, they'd be whacked.



- Just to give you an idea of how bad the acting was, there is a scene where the two protagonists are in the presence of an actual actor. Don't worry, if you ever watch this film (which I highly advise against) you will know when. This happens with alot of bad films, where an actual good actor/actress enters the scene and reveals just how mediocre the level of acting around said performer. The performer as it were goes on a rambling monologue. It's still bad content-wise, but, the performer pulls it off. Then one of the protagonists speak. Wow! One can literally see the staggering difference in acting talent between the two at that precise moment.



- Predictability. Over the course of this film, I kept calling what will occur. My accuracy was startling. Jon began questioning whether I have seen it before. The worse moment was in one scene when I called like 4 straight things in a row. We were cracking-up because I was spot on. Jon then shook his fist in Shatner-like fashion shouting, "Damn you Karl! You wrote this didn't you!! Damn you...!!!"



So if I were to sum this viewing experience into a few select word:



"The horror. The horror . . ."



---------------------------------



Jon: Please write something. The world needs to behold the carnage that is you as you lay waste to the internet audience.



Karen: I'm excited that you finally posted. Keep it coming. If Kurt wants a separate place to bitch about anything within the realm of media and whatnot, then he's welcome to join the party.



Dave: Update more. I KNOW THERE ARE THINGS IN FILM THAT ARE PISSING YOU OFF, and you need to vent. Ya know, if there is anything outside of your regular editorials or film reviews, you can post here if ya want. Not that you read this here rag or anything.



So yeah, welcome to Jon & Karl @ the movies.



End Scene.